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    村上春樹:永遠在蛋這一邊

    今天我作為一個小說家來到耶路撒冷,也就是說,作為一個職業撒謊者。

    當然,并不只有小說家才撒謊。政治家也做這個,我們都知道。外交官和軍人有時也說他們自己的那種謊,二手車銷售員、肉販和建筑商也是。但小說家的謊言與其他人的不同,因為沒有人會批評小說家說謊不道德。甚至,他說的謊言越好、越大、制造謊言的方式越有獨創性,他就越有可能受到公眾和評論家的表揚。為什么會這樣呢?
      
    我的回答會是這樣:即,通過講述精巧的謊言——也就是說,通過編造看起來是真實的虛構故事——小說家能夠把一種真實帶到新的地方,賦予它新的見解。在多數情況下,要以原初的形態領會一個事實并準確描繪它,幾乎是不可能的。因此我們把事實從它的藏身之處誘出,將之轉移到虛構之地,用虛構的形式取而代之,以試圖抓住它的尾巴。然而,為了完成這點,我們必須首先厘清在我們之中真實在哪兒。要編造優秀的謊言,這是一種重要的資質。
      
    不過,今天我不打算撒謊。我會努力盡可能地誠實。一年里有幾天我不說謊,今天碰巧就是其中之一。
      
    所以讓我告訴你們一個事實。很多人建議我不要來這兒領取耶路撒冷獎。有些人甚至警告我,如果我來,他們就會策劃抵制我的書。此中的原因,當然是肆虐于加沙地區的激烈戰爭。聯合國報道,有超過一千多人在被封鎖的加沙城內失去了生命,其中不少是手無寸鐵的公民——孩子和老人。
      
    收到獲獎通知后,我多次問自己,是否要在像這樣的時候到以色列來,接受一個文學獎是不是合適,這是否會造成一種印象,讓人以為我支持沖突的某一方,以為我贊同某國決意釋放其壓倒性軍事力量的政策。當然,我不愿予人這種印象。我不贊同任何戰爭,我不支持任何國家。當然,我也不想看見我的書遭到抵制。
      
    然而最終,經過仔細考慮,我下定決心來到這里。我如此決定的原因之一是,有太多人建議我不要來?;蛟S,就像許多其他小說家,對于人們要我做的事,我傾向于反其道而行之。如果人們告訴我——尤其當他們警告我——“別去那兒”、“別做那個”,我就傾向于想去那兒,想做那個。你們或許可以說,這是我作為小說家的天性。小說家是異類。他們不能真正相信任何他們沒有親眼看過、親手接觸過的東西。
      
    這就是我為什么在這兒。我寧愿來這兒,而非待在遠處。我寧愿親眼來看,而非不去觀看。我寧愿向你們演講,而非什么都不說。
      
    這并不是說我來這兒,是來傳達政治訊息的。當然,做出是非判斷是小說家最重要的職責之一。然而,把這些判斷傳達給他人的方式,要留給每個作家來決定。我自己寧愿把它們轉化為故事——趨向于超現實的故事。因此今天我不打算站在你們面前,傳達直接的政治訊息。但請你們允許我發表一條非常私人的訊息。這是我寫小說時一直記在心里的東西。我從未鄭重其事到把它寫在紙上,貼到墻上,而寧愿,把它刻在我內心的墻上,它大約如此:“在一堵堅硬的高墻和一只撞向它的蛋之間,我會永遠站在蛋這一邊?!?br />   
    對,不管墻有多么正確,蛋有多么錯,我都會站在蛋這一邊。其他人會不得不決定,什么是對,什么是錯;也許時間或歷史會決定。如果有一個小說家,不管出于何種理由,所寫的作品站在墻那邊,那么這樣的作品會有什么價值呢?
      
    這個隱喻的涵義是什么?有些情況下,它實在太簡單明白了。轟炸機、坦克、火箭和白磷炮彈是那堅硬的高墻。蛋是那些被碾碎、被燒焦、被射殺的手無寸鐵的平民。這是該隱喻的涵義之一。
      
    可這不是全部。它有更深刻的涵義。這樣來想。我們每個人,或多或少,都是一個蛋。我們每個人都是一個獨特的、無法取代的靈魂,被包裹在一個脆弱的殼里。我是如此,你們每一個人也是。而我們每個人,多多少少都面對著一堵堅硬的高墻。這堵墻有個名字:它叫體制(The System)。體制應該保護我們,但有時,它不再受任何人所控,然后它開始殺害我們,及令我們殺害他人——無情地,高效地,系統地。
      
    我寫小說只有一個理由,那就是使個人靈魂的尊嚴顯現,并用光芒照耀它。故事的用意是敲響警鐘,使一道光線對準體制,以防止它使我們的靈魂陷于它的網絡而貶低靈魂。我完全相信,小說家的任務是通過寫作故事來不斷試圖厘清每個個體靈魂的獨特性——生與死的故事,愛的故事,使人哭泣、使人害怕得發抖和捧腹大笑的故事。這就是為什么我們日復一日,以極其嚴肅的態度編造著虛構故事的原因。
      
    我的父親去年去世,享年九十。他是位退休教師,兼佛教僧人。讀研究院時,他應征入伍,被派去中國打仗。我是戰后出生的孩子,經??匆娝咳赵绮颓?,在家里的佛壇前長時間虔誠地祈禱。有一次,我問他為什么這樣做,他告訴我他是在為那些在戰爭中死去的人們祈禱。他說,他為所有死去的人祈禱,無論敵友。我凝視著他跪在祭壇前的背影,似乎感到死亡的陰影籠罩著他。
      
    我的父親死了,他帶走了他的記憶,我永遠不可能了解的記憶。但潛藏在他周圍的死亡氣息卻留在了我自身的記憶里。這是少數幾樣我從他那兒承繼下去的東西之一,其中最重要的之一。
      
    今天我只希望向你們傳達一件事。我們都是人類,都是超越國籍、種族、宗教的個體,都是脆弱的蛋,面對著一堵叫作“體制”的堅硬的墻。顯然,我們沒有獲勝的希望。這堵墻太高,太強,也太冷。假如我們有任何贏的希望,那一定來自我們對于自身及他人靈魂絕對的獨特性和不可替代性的信任,來自于我們靈魂聚集一處獲得的溫暖。
      
    花點時間想一想這個吧。我們每個人都擁有一個真實的、活著的靈魂。體制沒有這種東西。我們一定不能讓體制來利用我們。我們一定不能讓體制完全失去控制。體制沒有造就我們,我們造就了體制。
      
    這就是所有我要對你們說的話。
      
    我很榮幸獲得耶路撒冷獎。我很榮幸我的書正被世界上許多地方的人們閱讀著。我也很高興今天有這機會向你們演講。

    責任編輯: 韋海生,微信公眾號:在讀書社

    本站文章均標明作者或出處,僅供個人學習之用,如有侵權,請在下方留言,我將盡快刪除。

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